Checkmate
by Hermonthis
Summary: 6x9 - For Milliardo Peacecraft, love is a game of chess. Preferably strip chess and a whole lot of confusion afterwards. Reposted, due to much prodding from others.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All things "Gundam Wing" and "Alice in Wonderland" belong to their respective owners. Featured song lyrics is "Mouth" by Merril Bainbridge (1996)

A/N: inspired by a conversation within the BI forum and by fellow BI'er **White Witch**, you're still awesome.

* * *

**Prologue**

"Zechs," she started to say, "Just how long have we known each other?"

"For much too long."

"We've been close friends ever since the academy, right?"

"Yes."

"Best friends, right?"

"Yes."

"You'd even die for me?"

"…Yes?"

"Good. Then take off your clothes."

* * *

**Checkmate  
**Part One

_"I feel like I've been blown apart, there are pieces here - I don't know where they go. I don't know where they go…" _

At precisely 6:43 am the radio came on and it plucked out a very bubbly, sugar-sweet tune. The alarm had been set to the Oldies station, and the song that preceded the early morning traffic report was one of those wake up-and-listen sleepyhead genres. It also happened to be a tune that could haunt a person for the rest of the day and throughout the night, the rhythm caught in the head like a bad chocolate almond addiction, and it refused to let go until something better came along.

But for now, it was sugar-coated peanuts for him.

Was that a bad thing?

The song lyrics matched the liquid sunshine that peeped from beyond the full length curtains, visibly exposing a private deck for a perfect July morning, if not a tad early for sunrise.

"Quiet," someone muttered unpleasantly. A very muscular and well toned arm reached out to slap the snooze button in what one would call ungraceful.

His thumb managed to hit the target button while the rest of his hand knocked the radio off the countertop, leaving it dangling in mid-air by a very constrained electrical cord. Furthermore, the persistent device decided to screw up its reception and initiated the buzzer alarm in loud retribution.

_BEEP-BEEP-BEEP _

Milliardo swore excessively into his pillow before he pulled the plug completely from the wall.

_Crash_ went the machine as it hit the floor and he winced in irritation. That would leave a mark on the wood. Further cursing was called for.

No silence for the waking dead, or something like that.

As he attempted to resume his sleep pattern, it evaded him. Hence, he rolled over and tugged at the covers so that he could hide under them, to escape the sunlight which threatened to creep in. Stupid alarm, stupid song, stupid sunshine that just won't let his face or his eyes alone. He heard the birds sing brightly from beyond the windows and Milliardo grumbled even more, he had lost his dream about _Alice in Wonderland. _

He sighed for sympathy. Today was a rare day. He was given the opportunity to sleep in, and yet he couldn't. What else could go wrong?

Oh well, the dream didn't make much sense anyways. It was all a hazy mix of coloured bottles, chess pieces, riddling twins, and cards. The noises outside made him frown, if he couldn't be happy, no one else should be either.

"What the hell does a guy have to do to get some shut-eye?!" he burst out suddenly like a woman experiencing PMS. For a brief moment, the Earth stopped.

But then she decided that it was much more fun to aggravate him.

"Arrr…" he groaned and grabbed the nearby pillow to throw over his ears. What a headache. But suddenly he realized that he wasn't the only one complaining.

"Mm, that's my pil-low." A female voice muttered sleepily. "Give baa-yawn-aack…" Additional movement on the bed confirmed his confusion.

Milliardo shot up in bed and threw the black 'n' white checkered blankets over the edge of the mattress as his mouth dropped open in shock.

"Hey, I said not to tak-" the voice continued, her violet eyes squinted in the sun, her hands fumbling for the non-existent sheets.

"NOIN?!"

"Zechs?" She blinked slowly and repeated what she had just said. "Zechs?"

Obviously, with her brain half-functioning, she couldn't perceive the gravity of the situation, unlike him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I… don't… know…" he replied with equal length, looking down at the state of dress that they were in, or undress as some may call it. His gaze was drawn to a particular spot and he fell strangely silent. That was definitely an interesting thing to wear to bed. Err, to sleep.

But then she woke up and her eyes widened in shock.

"ZECHS!?!" she screamed aloud. His eardrums popped. Milliardo lost his concentration and winced, an action she become immediately aware of.

"What the HELL am I doing in your BED?!" Lucrezia looked down, gasped and grabbed a pillow or two to cover herself.

He wasn't aware that he sighed in disappointment over the lost visual, not until it was too late to cover it up with a fake yawn. A raging fire gleamed in her eyes and he found it rather appealing at the moment. Smiling at her was his second mistake.

"You depraved loony!" she continued to bellow, completely infuriated with him, "Get out, get out, get OUT!"

He was going to die, Milliardo was sure of it.

When she pointed a finger commandingly at the door, Milliardo didn't hesitate. He jumped off the bed and ran away in his black silk boxers, his survival instinct kicking in. The door slammed shut in his wake and Lucrezia quickly dropped the pillows to take a good look at herself.

Good lord.

The press would have a field day.

* * *

Just outside, Milliardo leaned against the door and pinched himself to make sure that he was awake. 

"Ow."

He was awake.

Absolutely befuddled, he looked around his apartment and found it in chaos; it seemed that Lucrezia was moving in with him, and by the state of his surroundings, that time was now. Boxes, suitcases, clothes and other feminine belongings lay littered around his place, not to mention a few other awkward things that were either wedged between the couch cushions or dangling from the fireplace grate.

He wandered over to the grate and picked up something from off the heath rug. It was scarlet, sheer, and had lace trimmings. It was also soft to the touch. He dropped it immediately.

Coughing in disbelief and embarrassment, Milliardo sprinted for the kitchen and looked for a bottle of beer to drown his sorrows in, but all he found were tiny shots labeled, _Drink me._

Goddamn it, this had to be a set-up, it had to be, there was no other logical explanation to all of this.

Besides the obvious, of course.

Holding the bottle in his hand, the partially-dressed man would have drunk without any further hesitation if the light of the answering machine hadn't caught his eye. A blinking red button confirmed that he had incoming messages. It turned out that the whole disc was full of babbling invoices.

He left the bottle in the fridge and made his way over to the telephone stand, unsure and expecting the worst. He pressed the button and held his breath.

_BEEP _

"Hello, you have reached the Peacecraft- and Noin-residence. We are not home at the moment, but if you want one of us to call you back, just leave your name, telephone number, a brief message and we'll get back to you once she's done in the shower. Thank you."

Wait.

That can't be right.

Milliardo re-set the disc and replayed the welcoming message. This was wrong, freakishly wrong, since when had his house become a dual-residence? And since when did he say he-

Ahem.

Rubbing his temples with excessive force, he started taking mental notes after every invoice, hoping to piece together any hints that may come his way, hopefully less scandalous than the first one.

"Um… hi, Noin."

_Hint one: Lucrezia has officially moved in, with my consent or else she never would have made it to the introduction. The others know too._

He groaned.

"I wasn't going to help, but Relena…"

_Hint two: your most hated enemy knows where you live and has unfortunately gotten together with your sister, he shall be punished. After breakfast and a shower. _

An image ran though his mind.

Make that a cold shower.

The messages kept rambling on.

"Maybe WuFei and I shouldn't come today…"

_Hint three: Noin's best friend knows about the moving. This was not a spontaneous act and has been planned very carefully, with disastrous results. _

"Heero won't return her stuffed animals…"

Milliardo visibly quirked an eyebrow and a muscle twitched in the left part of his jaw.

Why the hell would Relena ask an obsessive-compulsive man to bring someone else's stuffed animals? Seriously. If someone had handed him a box of Trowa Barton's hair products, they'd never see it again.

"No more games for Duo, really, no more games. I promise."

The blonde man knew who was to blame, it was a dead giveaway. Only someone with that sense of humour would attempt something like this, but he wasn't even sure what this was.

"Have you heard from Quatre since last night?"

No, and he didn't care. Not unless Dorothy Catalonia had some part to play in this whole ordeal, he wouldn't put it past her to try something that would wreck havoc. It ran in the family.

_Hint number four. _

But the last one really caught his attention.

"So, who won the game?"

Bingo.

Milliardo shut off the answering machine and grinned proudly to himself, crossing his arms and letting out a breath of smugness. He had a lead and he had confessions. To erase the disc of the messages would rid him of the only evidence he had regarding the past 24 hours, which he assumed at first glance a heist in the making. His mind was turning gears so quickly that if it was able to make noise, it would have echoed throughout the kitchen. It was just a matter of time before the whole story came out; it was time for that beer now.

He wondered how Lucrezia was faring, or more specifically, what she was wearing.

Then he slipped on a spoon and smacked his head against the cold tabletop.

Damn karma.

* * *

In the meantime, Lucrezia rubbed the sleep from her eyes and tried to get a hold of her surroundings. She pushed the thought away from her mind that Milliardo's bed was really quite comfortable. The room had a nice touch to it too, clean and neat. 

The walls were a taupe, almost tanned color while the trimmings were purely white. Overall, the colour scheme reflected a homely and comfortable appeal, something that she could look forward to. On one side, there was the walk-in closet, plenty of room to put clothes and multiple shoes in. On the opposite side was the door to the patio outside. Lucrezia could see the outline of the steel chairs and glass table that must be a nice hideaway spot. There was also his choice of interior furnishings, a modern and contemporary…

Lucrezia kicked herself in the head and attempted to remember why she was here. Not her room, not her house, and definitely NOT her sleepwear.

But that chair…

She had to literally shake her head to clear the mind from all other distracting thoughts. She took a deep breath and gave a closer glare at what she wore: an intricate white lace corset and matching stockings.

Lucrezia's vision started to get hazy; where on this green globe did she get such things? Somewhere on the floor beside her, there was evidence of a very glittery, sparkling tiara. Her index finger ran along the fitted bodice and she wondered how anyone could breathe in this tight cylindrical object much less fall asleep in it.

Clothes. Sleep. Bed. Morning.

The colour in her cheeks rose as her mind wandered off to a less-than-decent place.

Bad Noin! Bad, bad, bad! She should be spanked repeatedly for her naughty mind.

Oh dear, that came out completely wrong.

Let's just ignore that last comment, shall we?

Lucrezia took a deep breath and tried to claim control over herself.

Did something significant happen last night? The mind told her that was a rhetorical question; of course something happened last night! All the clues were saying _'YES!'_ but why couldn't she remember? Well, things couldn't get any worse right?

At that point, she should have known better. The woman had signed her own death sentence.

Lucrezia got up on her knees and stretched her arms and legs out, the lace straps of her outfit conforming to her body. When she jumped off the high bed, her toes slipped on something cold and metallic and she lost her balance. Lucrezia grabbed the closest thing near her but still fell on her arse. The object fell against her arm. She stared at it and her face turned to an even deeper shade of red than before, enough to rival the _Red Queen's._ Now, was this object his or hers?

* * *

Forsaking breakfast due to the bad tasting beer, he got to the task of cleaning up the house. The worst part was the living room was he didn't feeling so peckish to tackle that area first, especially after what he found the last time he wandered over there. Instead, he would focus on the kitchen and throw that goddamn spoon into the trash compressor and wish it a very painful death. 

Was it normal to hold a grudge against silverware?

It must be a side affect of that foreign beer in the fridge.

As it turned out, the kitchen was far less messy than the rest of his place; most of the bottles were on the table and not in splinters on the floor. His secret cache of ice cream and popsicles had been raided and all that remained of them were their wrappers and sticks. It wasn't too hard picking up the spoons, but he wondered how someone could eat a root-beer float with a spork.

It was better not to ask too many questions and just observe, take in what had happened and don't rush to conclusions.

"He's going to get the haircut of his life."

Noin ran into the adjacent bathroom and yanked open one of the drawers. She got out a pair of shears and held it menacingly in her hands, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Someone was going to pay for Lucrezia Noin did not do these sorts of things. As a former lieutenant of the OZ Corporation and commanding officer of the Preventers, she had her dignity and integrity to uphold.

The metal gleamed menacingly in the light of the bathroom fixtures.

No, that wasn't fair to him. This wasn't entirely his fault. Noin put down the scissors and leaned heavily on the sink, taking in deep breaths to slow her pulse down. She washed her face and used his towel to dry herself off. She brushed her teeth with a (new) spare toothbrush she found in the cabinets and used his cinnamon toothpaste. She chucked out his bar of soap, it was looking pretty grimy and it disturbed her, to replace it with a fresh new one. It was the colour pink.

Feeling refreshed, she rummaged through the side drawers and smiled. There was a bath basket full of soaps and bath bubbles and loofas and other luxury items. Unopened. Noin read the tag and laughed when she saw that it had come from Relena for his birthday present. She placed it on top of the toilet seat, feeling extremely happy with the colour. Yellow.

She also found his electrical shaver and wonder of all wonders, it was battery operated too!

She hid it.

Inside the bath basket.


	2. Chapter 2

Firstly, I'd like to apologize for the overgratituous use of page breaks in this chapter. Since the site removed most conventional means of spaces between paragraphs, this will have to do.

* * *

**  
**

**Checkmate**  
Part Two **  
**

People were going to pay for her embarassment, she was sure of it. Noin set out in her task of rearranging her partner's bathroom to her taste, a small something to occupy her mind and as an escape route to blow off some steam. At this moment, she knew nothing of what lay beyond the closed bedroom door for all she could think of was how she was woken up. The bottles of shampoo and conditioner slipped from her hands and thudded against the ceramic tile of the bathtub.

How foolish could she have been? She woke up beside him like some harlot, a scarlet lady, and goodness knows what other synonoms were out there in the Webster's English Dictionary. But there was a comforting thought to all of this - if she couldn't say it, perhaps this wasn't her attempt to seduce him in the first place, she couldn't be at fault. This morning had to be on her top ten list of most embarrassing moments, if not the top five moments of utter humiliation known to mankind. Did he know how she felt? Had he planned this? Did someone else plan this extravaganza? More questions ran through her mind and Noin felt very claustrophobic inside the bathroom, almost to the point of illness.

The woman hastily turned to the sink and splashed some lukewarm water onto her face again; her temples throbbed in pain from the bright glare of the flickering electrical bulbs. She put a hand to her forehead to make sure she wasn't suffering from a fever but from a hangover. She chuckled, she hadn't done that for a while.

The bathroom lights flickered irratibly.

Remind him to fix that.

Dragging her feet along the floor to the master bedroom, Noin lay on the mattress and closed her eyes, comforting herself in the cool sheets. She was so tired, the previous panic attack had already given her the daily amount of stress, more than what was necessary to keep her awake, and she had barely been up for fifteen minutes. Her eyelids began to droop slowly, her vision blending together into a white, calm fog that offered tranquil sleep. Just five minutes…

* * *

Milliardo lay slumped in his chair as he took in his surroundings for the upteenth time, the abrupt awakening plus the shock of the morning was taking a toll on his body, he was feeling quite exhausted and melancholy at the moment. With all his adrenaline gone, he didn't have much energy to tackle the living room just yet and face the lace frills that awaited him there. They weren't his, they were hers, and he'd be damned if he touched those without her permission. He'd checked the other spare bedrooms and wasn't that all surprised when he saw hangers of clothing laying atop the mattresses and his office was left relatively untouched. Overall, it was areas where company could be safely brought in that suffered the most damage. 

He just wanted to sleep.

Perhaps it was his lack of judgement, or his severe case of exhaustion that dulled his mind, but Milliardo Peacecraft sought out his spare keys and unlocked the door of his bedroom with the metal clinking noisily. If he was to have any regrets about his next set of actions, now was not the time to think about it.

Hence, he crawled into bed, pushed the white snow monster that was hogging his pillow away from him, and closed his eyes.

* * *

She couldn't remember very much, it was all a blur. But she did recall looking into the eyes of someone over a board game. 

"Lieutenant, it looks like I'm going to win after all."

But as her last brilliant move, she moved her knight one space to the left and three up. She sat back in her chair, as calm as ever but smirking like there was no tomorrow.

* * *

In her hypnotic state, Lucrezia's fingers moved involuntary before she swung her hand over the sheets and smacked into something. 

Someone grunted at the impact and turned over, his brow furrowed in concentration.

* * *

"Checkmate." 

"What did you say?"

"Checkmate." She repeated with a bit more oomph in her voice, still smiling at her victory. As expected, Zechs scrutinized every inch of the board, referred back to their data tables, and check the timers for who knows what else. Finally, he succumbed to the reality of it all.

He banged his hands into the table.

"It's not fair!"

"What's wrong?"

"You're not going to win, Lucrezia Noin. You've never been able to beat me at chess. At charades - yes, history trivia - yes, but not chess!" He stood up in frustration, his visage both worrysome and amusing that a man of his stature should become so unnerved by a silly game. Noin put her finger on his king, tilting the black piece to and fro as her opponent's eyes watched in disdain.

"But I already did. See for yourself, it's true."

* * *

Milliardo grunted and readjusted his hold on the pillow, but someone was taking it away from him. He was losing his game. 

"Back off, Noin..." he murmured.

* * *

"Excuse me, did you just tell me to 'get lost?'" she repeated. 

"That's what I said, chess is my territory. Yours is in boring memorization."

"Just because you're a sore loser doesn't give you the right to insult me, Zechs! I was the one who had to tutor you in class, remember?"

"Chess is an evolving skill!"

"History is important!"

"Strategy is what wins the game!"

"Learning from the past is what propels you towards the future!"

* * *

Back and forth, back and forth, the tug-of-war between the sheets and the pillows continued between the white queen and the black king, neither of them willing to give an inch but to take control of the situation. Unbeknowst to them, the struggle of material possessions only made them face towards each other, and their clawing hands and desperate grasping fingers caught more and more of the thin fabric that separated them until they were almost in a position of serious intimate contact. 

Someone had to remove that pillow, and fast.

* * *

The tension was too much to bear. 

"Mark my words, Lieutenant Noin, before this night is over, you will be at my knees begging for mercy."

"You first, baron," she spat out.

"Such a pity that everyone else left before they could see my victory over you."

"They didn't want to see you lose so pathetically."

"I propose we start a new game."

"Fine by me, you be white this time and we'll see just how smart you are..."

But something in his eyes gave her a hint that he was referring to something else.

* * *

"Forget the game, you know what I'm talking about." There was a steel edge to his voice that wasn't there before, she started to get anxious. 

"Zechs, it's just a stupid board game. Listen, if you really want-" but the words left her mouth. For reasons unknown, Milliardo stood in front of her, bent down, and lifted her over his shoulder, hauling her away from the table.

"Wha- what are you doing?"

"You're not going to win, Noin." Was all he said before he kicked the door to the bedroom open.

* * *

A slender finger crept up the side of his face and touched his lips, which he gratefully took into his mouth and started to nibble on the salty flesh. He could hear whispered murmurs very close to him and yet they seemed too muffled to be right next to him. Reaching out with out hand, he sought out what he was looking for and held on to it. Someone moaned and turned around, his hand rolling over different textures and sensations. 

Suddenly, he was hot.

The coolness of the downy covers was no longer upon him but the contact of real flesh pressed up to his semi-naked body was somewhat new to him, he didn't remember ever feeling like this before.

"Noin..."

* * *

"Oh, Zechs..." 

"Oh, Noin..."

He opened his eyes and evaluated their situation once again.

"Oh shit."

This was going to be a problem.

How fun.

And yet he lightly stroked the hair from her face, feeling at peace.

"You're touching me again," she murmured.

"And so I am."

"Did you dream the same thing too?"

"So I did."

"Bizarre."

"So it was."

"Will you please stop doing that?"

"Okay."

She yawned and finally opened her eyes, Milliardo was relieved to see them smiling at him. Their relative closeness to each other was anything but relative; however, they didn't feel the need to move away so suddenly.

"So, what do we do now?" she asked.

"I have several ideas."

"I bet you do," she chided him lightly.

"Don't know about you, but I'm feeling hungry."

"And tired, and sleepy, and downright groggy."

"Still?"

She nodded before nuggling up against his chin.

"Maybe... you should take a shower."

"I'll do that."

"Can I come?"

"Don't push you luck, boy. I'm going in there by myself."


	3. Chapter 3

Warnings for sexual overtones, language, and an Aladdin reference. Enjoy the final installment!

* * *

**Checkmate  
** Part Three **  
**

(where we left off in part two)

Lucrezia Noin opened her mouth wide and yawned, not caring whether her bed partner was bothered by her lack of etiquette or not. As she sat up and arched her back, she could see his lips pressed tight and although he was trying so very hard to ignore it, he was watching her out of the corner of his eyes. So she had turned down his offer of showering with him, what of it? Her legs were dangling off the edge of the bed, hands at the ready to push herself off when he asked,

"Noin, did you rearrange my bathroom?"

With perfect calmness she replied,

"Nope."

Without moving any other part of his body, Zechs followed her with his eyes and asked her again whether she had done anything to his belongings. Running her hands over her face to stifle another yawn, she turned her head his way and replied,

"Nope."

His chest rose and fell as he exhaled, he seemed sedated by her answer.

Or he was just sedated period.

As Noin walked barefoot towards the bathroom adjacent to the bedroom, she hesitated. With a touch of colour on her face, she questioned whether it'd be okay for her to use this one, or if she should use the other ones inside the house.

"After all, it's your place."

Sighing, he sat up on the bed and made eye contact with her. It was hard not to notice the way his platinum-white hair fell over his broad back, nor the well-toned muscles of his arms. Noin made a memo to herself as she leaned against the door to never cut his hair, it was just too beautiful that it could make Duo weep.

"It's our place now."

And so he smiled at her, and she smiled back at him before she disappeared behind the door. Maybe things won't be so awkward between them anymore, maybe the worst shock of the day was over.

Zechs abandoned the bed and scratched his head, his smile grew wider as he placed the pillows near the headboard and tucked the edges of the flannel sheets under the mattress. When the duvet and other accessories were fluffed up and put away nicely, he decided to pick up some of the toys that were lying on the carpet. He could hear her footsteps echoing and from the sounds of it, she was searching for something.

"Zechs!"

Moving various articles into one pile of the room, he hollered back at her through the walls.

"What?"

"There's only one towel in here, and it's not big enough!" Noin yelled in exasperation as she stared at the half-size cloth and looked at herself in the mirror. When his reply was "did you bring any of yours?" she hung the mini-washcloth back on the ring and told him,

"Don't you have any clean ones?"

"They're all dirty."

It figured, even this one was starting to smell a little. With the word "eww" coming to mind, she opened the door partially and slipped out, she didn't want him to see anything that he shouldn't. Noin was greeted with the sight of her Milliardo's ass in full view as he continued his quest in gathering all of their fun toys and discarded clothes. Just glorious, and she had to look away as a fit of giggles threatened to override her sensibility.

"What is it Lieutenant?" She picked up a magazine and tried to frown to hide her smile.

"Nothing, maybe I'll take a shower a little later." With both of them cooperating, the bedroom was cleaned up and organized in what really did seem like the blink of an eye. They knew that they made a great team in most things, they were just too stubborn regarding anything else. Well, maybe this project was a bit of a competition for them. For when it was all said and done, they faced each other and tried not to admit that they had been trying to one-up each other during the process, complete with secretive looks of longing.

"Hungry?" Incidently, he had to hold the can of whipped cream in his hand. Really, this was not helping either of them in their secret desire.

"A little." He opened the door and let her pass through first, an act which she knew was obviously intentional. That was fine by her, if bumping into each other constantly in half-undressed bodies didn't bother him at all, she wouldn't be either. Oh, and that can belonged to him, he had admitted it. But there was still much more to do around the house.

Oh, they were both being stupid, all this was a ploy to avoid the awkwardness which would certainly lead to un-idleness and un-dressing. Was is so wrong to acknowledge that you wanted your friend to be more than a friend? Sure, they had both joked around with the idea but when push came to shove, they were chickens about holding each other's hands.

So last night's ploy to get these two to sleep together didn't exactly fail, but it didn't exactly work either. Sure, they slept together in the same bed, but if they couldn't remember anything physically significant that happened within the past 24 hours, damned be their badges. Most likely it didn't happen. More than one person would be greatly disappointed.

But when Zechs woke up to find Noin monopolizing his pillow and her knee gutting him in the stomach, he realized that all he wanted was her. Perhaps it had only been her.

"How do you like your eggs?" he inquired nonchalent.

_Unfertilized honey, unfertilized._

"Fried to a crisp."

As he beat the yolks into a smushy liquidy pulp, Noin continued the cleaning spree where he had left of earlier in the day. The clock read 7:45 am, still relatively early in the morning, especially if it was your day off. Tossing things here and there, Lucrezia found a blue terrycloth robe that fitted her nicely. She rolled up the sleeves and tied the sash around waist as sounds from the kitchen echoed out into the living room.

Inwardly, Milliardo was glad that his best friend had moved in with him, although he was quick to argue with her about it. There was a lot to be done around the place anyway, such as cleaning and organizing and dusting and cooperating and fucking and -

Milliardo realized that cover of the salt shaker had popped off and was now forming a mountain of salt on the eggs. He sighed. He should've known.

"Noin, you're not allergic to sodium chloride are you?" he called out.

"No, why?"

"Just make sure that you don't eat these eggs by themselves, I think there's extra ketchup in the fridge. I'm making toast after. Fruits are on the table."

As they sat down at the now-clean table and helped themselves to the food, did Lucrezia finally notice a change in Zechs's mannerisms. Maybe it was the way he was eating - well picking at his food, or the way that he looked at her when she was eating hers, or maybe it was just him being strange. At least he had the decency to put on a shirt, albeit unbuttoned.

_Oh god, please don't make him take up the mask again._

"Aren't you hungry?"

"Not so much," he admitted, "I'm not much of a chef so leftovers and quick meals are my usual." At least he still talked sensibly, she thought. Being a preventer and his partner in work, she could relate to the stress and lack of time they had for the culinary arts. However, she was a little more fortunate than he was.

"You know, I could teach you." His eyes widened and his face lit up, making Noin feel funny in the stomach. She choked on her smushy yellow food, "but you do the dishes when I cook,"

"And you do the dishes when I cook. Got it." It was an agreement.

True to their words, Lucrezia Noin took up the dishes as it was his turn to purge the refridgerator of all things strange, foreign, and expired. It amazed both of them just how many bottles of _Drink Me_ were crammed into his fridge, although they were left untouched since the first one he had opened had smelled of something definitely unholy. The artichoke dip was chucked out mercifully as well. It was time well spent within each other's company, as long as they stayed out of sight from each other, Milliardo didn't keep trying to peak down the front of her robe and Noin didn't have to keep biting her lip whenever his shirt flared open as he walked.

"Noin," she turned her head his way when he called her hesitantly. "I just found a note." Nodding her head, it's was a confirmation for him to continue. "It's a memo in your writing, Sally's coming by today."

The bottom of her stomach fell out as they faced each other, faced their surroundings, then back to themselves.

"What time?"

"20 minutes."

That was simply not enough time to get everything done.

"ZECHS!" she screamed at him as he stood behind her not knowing where to place his hands, "THEY'RE JUST PIECES OF CLOTH GODDAMN IT!" The formalities of civilized conversation were all but thrown out the window as they rushed out the house, going from room to room, grabbing boxes of Noin's belongings and dumping them into the spare bedroom. Anything else was thrown into the den, although things had gotten desperate when Noin suggested they suck up the individual chess pieces with a vacuum. That was a no-no.

But now, right now, all Noin wanted to do was get undressed as fast as he could. It really was a shame that some men didn't know how to multitask, she told him heatedly as he stood beside her stupidly, watching her fumble with the knot of the bathrobe that turned out to be his. She didn't ask why he didn't change into more proper clothing in preparation for Sally's visit but maybe he had something else on his mind. So far she had managed to pull the neck of the robe down as it hung off her shoulders.

"The tie's frayed," she muttered, the robe slipped down even more. And then there was cleavage.

"You want me to help?" Milliardo interjected, taking a step backwards when all he wanted to do was tear those clothes from her body and have his wicked, wicked way with her, but he wasn't going to say that, not even if that was what exactly what she was thinking as well.

To him, it was just pure unadulterated torture. This was revenge.

Oh sweet mother of earth, what had he done to evoke such wrath?! All he wanted was her, was that too much to ask?

"ZECHS!"

He frowned.

"Oh stop it, we need to get changed before they get here."

_They?_

Looking at him straight in the eyes, Noin whispered rather nervously,

"Where Sally goes, Wufei goes." Milliardo immediately conjured up an unpleasant image of the young man inspecting their home for any inciminating evidence. If he opened that door, if he stepped inside the house, if he saw them copulating and screaming within the throes of passion...

Okay! So it was off with the robes!

A silver car pulled up into the driveway and inside it, two people were arguing heatedly.

Zechs had quickly pinned Noin between the bed and his body, and his fingers were frantically scraping the pitiful cord that tightened around her waist everytime he pulled on a thread. Her hands were clenced, as was her jaw, and Zechs constantly had to tell her to stop bouncing on her toes if she wanted to be free of the cursed robe. She kept whispering for him to keep going as he worked frantically. With a giant rip the robe was torn in two and it was back to the corset.

DING

"NO!" Milliardo yelled in her face and their eyes locked. It was far too early.

DING DING

Lucrezia put a hand over her mouth to curb her swearing as Milliardo's profanity increased. Just when things were looking good, it was conveniently taken away from him. Sally Po of all people, that woman had a bad habit of showing up early for work, for last night's party, and now this. He ground his teeth as he grabbed Noin by the hand, sans robe, and dragged her to the window where they could see the car. They must be waiting.

He left Noin and ran to the door and unlocked it. There were voices on the other side already, he could hear them whispering

Anytime now.

He sprinted back and pulled her near one of the couches as he looked deep into her eyes and he asked her a question of utmost importance.

DINGDINGDINGDINGDING

There was a rap on the door and more talking.

Looking absolutely harried and wild, Zechs grabbed held her by the shoulders, a whirlwind forming in his eyes as he ushered her towards one of the couches. It was now or never.

"Do you trust me?"

"What?"

"Noin, do you trust me?"

"Yes..." came the uneasy reply.

That was the signal. Without preamble, Zechs pounced on her and brought them crashing down on the couch. Noin screamed bloody murder as all the air from her lungs were squeezed out. Sally screamed heresy when she heard her best friend's cries from inside of the house. Wufei screamed abuse when Sally used him as a batting ram and continued to spew out numerous unrelated words the door gave way and they both stumbled inside. Milliardo screamed nothing, or rather, was unable to scream at all as he kissed Noin full on the lips and wrapped his hands around her body.

And she was kissing him back. She was _kissing_ him back. Oh, but that wasn't all that she was doing. Oh no.

Stunned, Sally screamed at the top of her lungs at the scene before her.

"MY EYES!" she yelled as she turned her head away, utterly scarred that she actually caught her two friends doing something. She always wanted them to get together, but not in her presence! Wufei just stood by the door, blinking furiously, attempting to process what had happenned. When Noin's leg suddenly appeared and wrapped its incredibly lacy self around Milliardo's neck, they knew that it was time to get out of there fast.

And that was how it became to be, the beginning of the end, meaning the _end_ of all clothing and inhibitions and reservations that Zechs and Noin had before the moment he had kissed her. Granted, it was the beginning of many kisses, in many places and positions, but that's beside the point.

Deliberately, Noin rolled onto her back and yawned, stretching out her arms and legs in the most seductive of ways. She lay upside down on the downy covers of their bed, her toes touching the headboard and her arms moving up and down on the mattress as if she was making a snow angel.

"So, what are we going to do?" She bit on the end of a nail and smiled at Milliardo, who was right beside her. Crawling towards him, she craned her neck upwards and sideways, he was propped up on one elbow, a single white sheet covering him. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, she knew that he was still peeking at her.

"Did you say something?"

Biting her lip, she took mischievous pleasure in her position. Flat on her stomach and naked like a newborn babe, Noin swung her legs high in the air and smiled. Milliardo fell back on the pillows and stared at her.

"Noin!"

She burst out in laughter.

That was the mistake. Before she knew it, Milliardo had dive-bombed towards her and tried to grab her leg. She batted his hand away smoothly, only to meet with something soft and warm. She was attacked with kisses and pillows as he brought himself closer to her, pinning her down to the bed with their combined weight.

"I win," he grinned.

"Not quite."

* * *

THANK YOU'S:  
**White Witch** for the initial idea, Maeko for her suggestions on the teaser, and to those who reviewed on FFN and BI


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